The Easter "Passion" and my son
Last week Daniel had quite a time spiritually. He had me up 'til after 2 am two nights. I was in the midst of practicing for the Easter "Passion" play, described in my last blog on my space. Well, Daniel, 29, has never attended anything that I’ve been involved in and has been fighting God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit for some time now. He attended church as a baby, child and young person but through the teen years he stayed aways from church.
One night last week after having too much to drink, he started in on “why was I born and I just want to kill myself” and he had told me to hide the knives. That same night he told me that after an accident where he had suffered a severe concussion in 2002, he had been told by the attending physician that his blood work showed that he had leukemia. What a thing to tell me. I couldn't believe it.
Daniel had said he was drinking because he thought he was going to die and didn’t want to go like his dad. After two separate nights of this, I told him he needed to see a doctor and if he had this disease, he would have died before this.
But through all of his struggles, he has stopped smoking pot for a month now and has downsized his beer consumption and hates what he has become. He has had a lot of bitterness, resentment and hate building up toward his dad who has passed away now five years and his brothers for not spending time with their dad when he was dying. He was the youngest son and hated seeing his dad die and wondered why his brothers couldn’t at least give him a few days of rest.
We had our church play Thursday, Frday and Saturday nights. I asked him if he could come and every year for four years since I’ve been in this church, he has stayed home. Saturday came around and he showed up and stayed for the entire program. He even stayed for the altar call. Afterwards, he gave me a hug and said “You did good mom”. He asked me who the man was that lives out where we live who wanted him to come and visit and ride four wheelers. I told him that he was on the other side of the room. This man was who I had called when Daniel was threatening to kill himself last week. He had him pray for him. He also made an appointment to see the Pastor but that didn’t happen.
Saturday night when he returned, still having resident anger in him, he walked to the kitchen and I had my Mexican blanket on the floor so the dogs can come in for a while at night. He slipped and fell headlong onto the tile floor.. He laid there holding his head. He had a large bump on his forhead and a red mark that looked like the mark of “Zorro” on it. He said it looked like a backward “Nike”. He said he’d see the pastor later. I told him that he needed to talk to a man that he could trust. He has no one here that has taken an interest in him, although people have been praying for him at church.
My birthday was yesterday, the 24th. I received a lot of well wishing from my space friends and I really appreciate the thoughts. I didn’t do much on my birthday except work then go home. When I arrived home last night, Daniel had washed the dishes, dug some more dirt out of the back yard where I’m trying to make the dry creek. It was started last year. We still have ice and snow in parts and it’s muddy back there. He wanted me to go back to town and rent out “Into The Wild”. See http://www.intothewild.com/ and the following trailers http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0758758/trailers-screenplay-E34879-314 and http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0758758/trailers-screenplay-E34877-314 . He told me that it is a really good movie. It was a sad movie to see a young man go out into the wilderness to see if he could survive but the one thing he had in mind was to travel to Alaska. There he lived off the land and accidentally took some herbs that he thought were for one thing but they ended up poisoning him. He died at the age of 24 in an abandoned bus he found near a river. It was there where he foraged for three months but never returned home.
Daniel said when he tried to pack up last week that the movie had inspired him. I said the only reason he’d leave home would be when I stopped loving him, stopped feeding him and not caring what happened to him. I believe the Lord only wants the best for him but he can’t see himself like God does. He has everything he needs in the Lord. I never emphasized material things with him like the parents in the movie. They were more impressed with position, making money and having recognition and this young man didn’t want any part of it. He left it all, gave away all he saved for school, ate whatever he could find. I am glad Daniel isn’t living under a bridge somewhere and that he has a home that will always be open to him.
Daniel had said he was drinking because he thought he was going to die and didn’t want to go like his dad. After two separate nights of this, I told him he needed to see a doctor and if he had this disease, he would have died before this.
But through all of his struggles, he has stopped smoking pot for a month now and has downsized his beer consumption and hates what he has become. He has had a lot of bitterness, resentment and hate building up toward his dad who has passed away now five years and his brothers for not spending time with their dad when he was dying. He was the youngest son and hated seeing his dad die and wondered why his brothers couldn’t at least give him a few days of rest.
We had our church play Thursday, Frday and Saturday nights. I asked him if he could come and every year for four years since I’ve been in this church, he has stayed home. Saturday came around and he showed up and stayed for the entire program. He even stayed for the altar call. Afterwards, he gave me a hug and said “You did good mom”. He asked me who the man was that lives out where we live who wanted him to come and visit and ride four wheelers. I told him that he was on the other side of the room. This man was who I had called when Daniel was threatening to kill himself last week. He had him pray for him. He also made an appointment to see the Pastor but that didn’t happen.
Saturday night when he returned, still having resident anger in him, he walked to the kitchen and I had my Mexican blanket on the floor so the dogs can come in for a while at night. He slipped and fell headlong onto the tile floor.. He laid there holding his head. He had a large bump on his forhead and a red mark that looked like the mark of “Zorro” on it. He said it looked like a backward “Nike”. He said he’d see the pastor later. I told him that he needed to talk to a man that he could trust. He has no one here that has taken an interest in him, although people have been praying for him at church.
My birthday was yesterday, the 24th. I received a lot of well wishing from my space friends and I really appreciate the thoughts. I didn’t do much on my birthday except work then go home. When I arrived home last night, Daniel had washed the dishes, dug some more dirt out of the back yard where I’m trying to make the dry creek. It was started last year. We still have ice and snow in parts and it’s muddy back there. He wanted me to go back to town and rent out “Into The Wild”. See http://www.intothewild.com/ and the following trailers http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0758758/trailers-screenplay-E34879-314 and http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0758758/trailers-screenplay-E34877-314 . He told me that it is a really good movie. It was a sad movie to see a young man go out into the wilderness to see if he could survive but the one thing he had in mind was to travel to Alaska. There he lived off the land and accidentally took some herbs that he thought were for one thing but they ended up poisoning him. He died at the age of 24 in an abandoned bus he found near a river. It was there where he foraged for three months but never returned home.
Daniel said when he tried to pack up last week that the movie had inspired him. I said the only reason he’d leave home would be when I stopped loving him, stopped feeding him and not caring what happened to him. I believe the Lord only wants the best for him but he can’t see himself like God does. He has everything he needs in the Lord. I never emphasized material things with him like the parents in the movie. They were more impressed with position, making money and having recognition and this young man didn’t want any part of it. He left it all, gave away all he saved for school, ate whatever he could find. I am glad Daniel isn’t living under a bridge somewhere and that he has a home that will always be open to him.
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